SNOWBABY LEARNS TO PLANK AND REALLY, REALLY EXCELS AT IT!

Good Morning! My name is Snowbaby. If you read Kai's blog on a regular basis, you will know that in 1982 Kai rescued me from my previous family who abandoned me on the  ... sniff, sniff ... trash heap. She took me to her home and gave me a VERY nice bath in a big old tub of water, then dried me in a fun tumbly thing. I've lived with her ever since. Usually I stay with my other snow friends and Christmas pals in the lil' room (Kai calls it a CHRISTMAS CLOSET) and come out to visit Kai only the day after Thanksgiving (I think it's called that because I'M so thankful to be out of that crowded room) until Christmas day. But THIS year Kai decided I was way too adorable to go back! YAY!!!! (Actually, I've been TELLING her that for 20 years - she's kinda dense sometimes but - shhhh! - it's okay 'cause she's got a good heart.) Anyway, today, besides giving all of YOU a chance to KNOW me, I wanted to show you what I do when I'm NOT just LOOKING cute! Have you noticed the photo of Kai's grandson, Jacob over there to the right of her blog? Go ahead and take a second to look at him. He's an Army officer and really a nice and fun guy. I've known him for years. But he has become sort of confused about one of his abilities. See, HE thinks HE is the MASTER PLANKER. True, he planks pretty well. But he ISN'T the champ. Huh-uh. THAT would be ...

ME, ME, ME! 

 I DO have the pictures to prove it. And for your viewing pleasure, I will post some photos of moi planking. (See? I'm also good at other languages. A multi-talented Snowbaby!)  I DEFY the odds, don't I? I mean, come ON! Can any of YOU plank on an alarm clock? How about a computer? Okay.  MAYBE if you are SEVERELY anorexic or you've been training 24/7 with Jillian Michael's. But let's get real here. NO ONE - I repeat - NO. ONE. AT. ALL. besides Snowbaby can plank on a roll of toilet paper. Plank on THAT, Jacob! I DARE you to try. And now I will leave you to enjoy my WORLD CHAMPION planking. It was VERY nice to meet all of you! Bye-bye! 

THIS IS ME!!!!! AREN'T I CUTE?

PLANKING ON THE TINY ARM OF RAY'S DESK CHAIR

REALLY???? I AMAZE MYSELF!



ON THE ARM OF THE LOVE SEAT



ON THE BACK OF KAI'S ROCKER WHERE SHE SLEEPS



ON THE BACK OF KAI'S FOLDING CHAIR



ON - CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS - THE ALARM CLOCK

ON TOP OF RAY'S COMPUTER

ON THE TOWEL RACK - LET'S SEE YOU PLANK UP HERE, JAKE!

ON KAI'S SPICE RACK



ON THE SHELF




ON THE AFRICAN STATUE LADY'S LAP



ON THE KITCHEN WINDOW SILL

AND ON THE ARM OF THE RECLINER

A NERVOUS WRECK!!!

Does everyone recall a couple of weeks ago when we here in Southeast Texas (in my case, specifically Northwest Houston) had BIG lightening storms, straight-line wind damage, several tornado touch downs, and EVERYONE had street flooding? Well, it is currently 7:16 A.M. and guess what? TODAY we are getting an instant replay just in case we didn't have enough LAST time. I HATE, LOATHE, DESPISE, CAN'T STAND ... and am ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED OF storms. I never USED to be. Then Hurricane Ike (which, for those of you who didn't know me then) hit Houston on September 13th, 2008 at EXACTLY 12 A.M.! It was my 58th birthday. Happy birthday to me. I had lived through PLENTY of hurricanes. It's HOUSTON - we GET the hateful things! But Ike came in ANGRY, winds so strong they immediately knocked out power and left us to sit in the dark listening to the wind snapping power lines, BIG trees, etc. We couldn't see a thing so we had no idea what was breaking around us. We had to shove VERY heavy furniture against the front door because, even securely locked and bolted, it would NOT stay closed. The daylight hours brought the ability to SEE the mess. Not good. Ike left trees down EVERYWHERE, things from all over which had landed wherever the wind spit it out, and no power. Anywhere. We had no power for exactly 30 days. It was hot, dark, all the food spoiled, stores were closed (no power) NOTHING was open. That storm did something BAD to my head. To this day, 4 years later, I tense at the weather folks predicting bad storms. I try - I REALLY TRY - to just not THINK about or WORRY about it, but I do. Can't concentrate enough to create or read or THINK. Today we already have immensely powerful winds. And the storm itself isn't slated to arrive until around 11 A.M.! That will bring with it heavy rains, worse winds, dangerous lightening, and possible hail and tornadoes. I'm a wreck. In a bit I will turn off and unplug my computer. Won't turn it on till all the mess is over. It was my INTENTION to write about something I found SO FUNNY yesterday. I will. But not today. I don't FEEL funny. I feel nervous and unsettled. Almost sick to my stomach. I don't fear a lot. I fear storms. Yes, it's an irrational fear because there's absolutely nothing I could do to prevent them. My HEAD knows that. It just doesn't accept it. Did I mention I really, really, really HATE storms? Thanks for tolerating this ridiculous post. I think I just needed to 'write out' my fear. Back asap to post something crazy more typically Kai. Hope YOUR day is AWESOME! And if it IS, please may I borrow a cup of good weather?  
   These are photos from SOME of the damage done by tornado activity today.

NOTE: We FINALLY got those cursed storms here and GONE. I was NOT happy during them. We could have RIDDEN a few of those huge lightening strikes down to the river that was our street, then allowed the 60 mph winds pick us up and carry us away. I HOPE tomorrow is clear and cool.

HAHAHAHAHA! THANKS TO RAVELRY, I MADE A ...

GIANT Q-TIP! Isn't this hysterical? I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT! It took almost NO time to crochet. And check out the REAL Q-tip NEXT to it. This sucker is BIG.

Now, why on EARTH, you ask, would I want to crochet a giant Q-tip? Well, here's the story behind that! When my daughter was in the 6th grade, her first year in middle school, she had just started wearing a bit of makeup. She was constantly running out of the Q-tips she used to apply or smudge her eye shadow. So that year, for Christmas - a year she got a LOT of loot, I might add, including a new stereo system and a BUNCH of clothes, - I stuffed her stocking as well. In addition to some jewelry, a bunch of Hello Kitty things she still loved, and some odds and ends, I also added a bottle of lotion and a big old box of - you guessed it - Q-tips. Ummm ... she has NEVER let me live that down. Did she focus on all the OTHER gifts? Huh-uh. She held up that box of Q-tips and said, "Mom, are you SERIOUS? Q-TIPS???" She brings those up STILL at every opportunity. LOL! Her birthday is March 22. I am sending her $$ or a gift card, a Smurf hat (she LOVES all things Smurf - always has) and ... yep! A beautifully boxed and wrapped crocheted Q-tip! Hope she LIKES it! BWAHAHAHAHA ... GASP!
P.S. THIS IS MY SECOND POST TODAY. SEE POST BELOW IF YOU CAN TAKE ANOTHER DOSE OF ME.

I RECEIVED AN AWARD AND YOU GET STUCK WITH 7 OBSCURE FACTS ABOUT ME!

My long time friend, Anita, passed along a really cool award to me. It's called the Versatile Blogger award. Now, admittedly, I don't know just how versatile I AM. But Anita is a sweetheart AND a VERY brilliant lady! So I will say only that perhaps she knows something I don't know about myself. LOL! And while I am THRILLED to receive ANY award, I am sorry to say that my getting it presents YOU with the short end of the stick. You see, part of my receiving it requires that I post seven obscure facts about myself. See? You DID get the short end of the stick - especially after you JUST endured my LAST post. However, there IS an upside to this! You have the ability to say, "Is Kai NUTS? I'm not reading anymore of her craziness!" And - click - you can be outta here! I'll fulfill my duty as a recipient tho' and give you the 7 obscure facts. I promise (if you're still here - Are you?) to do it quickly and painlessly. No references to virginity, either. Scout's honor!
1. I found a little snowman in 1986. Someone had thrown him on the curb next to their trash can. I saw his cute face, picked him up (I was on my way home from the store - I walked back then) and took him home where I put his dirty lil' snowy self in the washer. Since then, every year he has made an appearance for the holidays. THIS year, I decided he was too adorable to put back in the closet, so he stayed out and my housemate (who also thinks he's cute) and I drag him around from room to room as though he were a child. How nuts ARE we? But LOOK at him! Isn't his face adorable? 

2. I always wish I could be on a game show where my questions ALL centered around the tv series Little House on the Prairie, and anyone who could answer a certain number of questions could win a million bucks. I'd WIN. I SWEAR I would. I LOOOOVE trivia of any kind but I KNOW nobody knows more about that show than I do. Isn't that pathetic?
3. I was not allowed as a child to use the Comanche name my grandfather gave me (I use it NOW) and I swore I'd give any child or children I had Comanche names so THEY could PROUDLY use them. I did give my only daughter a beautiful name. She never used it. GRRRR! 
4. Wandering through the fresh produce section of my local grocery store makes me so happy. I get excited when they have pattypan squash or beautiful figs or celery root. I'm SUCH a weirdo.
5. I become very stressed when my routine is disrupted. Most Bipolar folks LOVE routines and I am no exception. Because I'm medicated (since I was diagnosed in '93) I am not QUITE so attached to stringent routines, but I DEFINITELY have my own way of doing things. NOTE: I HEAR you, People! You are saying, "Ohhhhh! She's Bipolar! No wonder she acts so goofy! And HOW can she so easily TELL people that?" I tell it easily and freely because Bipolar is a chemical imbalance of the brain and that is nothing I caused so I'm not ashamed! Besides, the meds REALLY helped and while I will always have a certain degree of ups and downs, no one can detect them because - thankfully - they are under control.  
6. My sense of smell is my most acute sense. (Otherwise I HAVE no sense! HAHAHAHAHA ... a joke, folks! A JOKE!) Certain things - most especially Christmas trees, Lauren cologne, and Baby Magic lotion make me SOOOOO happy. 
and ... (See? I'm ALMOST finished!) 
7. If I could do only one 'fun' activity for the rest of my life and give up the rest, I'd READ. 
   So thank you, Anita, for the award!!! Her blog link is as follows -   http://kirbanita.typepad.com/take_joy/  in case you would like to visit her! She's a sweetheart! Now! Come back tomorrow (if you dare - BWAHAHAHA!) because I will show you what I just finished making! And there's a funny lil' story behind it. 

THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I TURN SIXTY-TWO

First of all, I swiped this idea from Natalea so I DO want to give her credit. Next, I want to make CERTAIN she knows to apply the disclaimer I'm offering so NO ONE will think HER goals are ALSO crazy. Hers, in fact, are quite sensible and achievable. Finally - before I actually BEGIN my list - let me remind you that I'm getting a rather late start. I turned 61 in September and didn't THINK of listing my goals till I saw Nat's post. So I have only slightly over 7 months to achieve an entire YEAR'S worth of goals. NOTHING like putting pressure on myself, huh? Being the anal organized person I am, I will break my goals down into groups. I like breaking stuff down. It's a Virgo thing, you know? Anyway, here goes!
TOTALLY DO-ABLE GOALS:
1.   Continue exercising my upper body 6 mornings a week for 2 hours per session. (Sometimes I hurt a bunch and want to skip days but I am a harsh taskmaster when it comes to pushing myself.)
2.   Do more of the creative things I LOVE to do (crocheting, counted cross stitching, and free-style insanity) instead of worrying that I'm NOT keeping up with artistic trends.
3.   Go to Facebook ONLY once per day to see what my daughter and grandkids are up to.
4.   Take more time to read (before I am completely BURIED in this excess number of unread books!)

5.   Watch my large collection of foreign films instead of being lazy and heading over to the Food Network or reruns of Law and Order SVU where I can actually SPEAK most of the dialogue throughout every episode.
IFFY GOALS:
1.   Keep my craft room neat enough so that I don't trip over anything and break my fool neck, find glitter up my wazoo, or have to lie to guests and tell them my craft room was broken into and the police insisted I leave it as is until they can further investigate.
2.   Not talk on the phone. Ever.
3.   Learn to use this phrase without so much as flinching or altering my facial expression or tone of voice: No, I'm sorry but I cannot (let you come over and live here for 6 months rent free while you get yourself together, edit your manuscript within the next 45 minutes, let you borrow another $500 BEFORE you pay me what you already owe me.) 
4.   Tell people who 'critique' my unruly (but CLEAN) hair, ADVISE me on how I COULD lose weight, continuously ask me why I ALWAYS wear sandals (because I loathe wearing ANY shoes and that's the best alternative as far as I'm concerned, in case you were wondering) or chide me because I don't act my age, that they can kiss my Comanche ...  need to worry more about the environment, world peace, and their OWN choices before addressing MINE.
5.   Refrain from making a SINGLE BREAD PUDDING so I won't be 'forced' to eat it all myself when my housemate insists he dislikes bread pudding. (Also I need to repeat this mantra: Bread pudding equals butt padding!)
HIGHLY UNLIKELY BUT VERRRRY DESIRABLE GOALS:
1.   Lose 100 - oh heck, let's make it 140 - pounds. (HAHAHAHAHAHA - gasp!)
2.   Go to South Africa, find out that Henry Cele (my personal dream guy) DIDN'T die three years ago but is right there in Durban, just WAITING FOR MEEEEE!

Kai, my love! You have FINALLY arrived. Come here and let me spear - uh - kiss you!

3.   Win the lottery or the Publisher's Clearing House $5 million a year for life prize so I could travel around and see everyone of my bloggy friends, my daughter and grandkids who I haven't seen in 9 YEARS as of this month, give everyone I love a big old wad of  $$ and say, "ENJOY YOURSELF!", travel to Spain, Portugal, Italy, India, Japan, China, Africa (stay a LONG time there - FOREVER if Henry really IS still alive) then buy myself a nice home in either Seattle or Portland and live comfortably.
4.   Have plastic surgery to get rid of everything that even REMOTELY jiggles. That would include about 95% of my body parts. 
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST - THIS PART MAY BE TOO MUCH INFO SO DON'T READ #5 IF YOU ARE EASILY SHOCKED, SQUEAMISH, OR ALSO HAVEN'T BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP IN SO MANY YEARS YOU ONCE AGAIN QUALIFY AS A VIRGIN:
5.   Lose my virginity! (After all, I DID lose it before or I wouldn't have a daughter, you know, but I DO still have the box it came in. BWAHAHAHAHA!)

Well, my sweet lil' Bloggy friends, that's it! My pre-age 62 goals! And should you notice that I'm not posting as often or emailing as regularly for awhile, you will know that I'm diligently working on achieving these goals. If I disappear completely, it will simply indicate that I DID achieve #s 2 and 5 of the Highly Unlikely but verrrrry desirable goals! 

I HAVE BEEN TOTALLY INSPIRED!

I ADORE my Bloggy-Friends! You all crack me up, make me think, give me creative ideas, teach me things, connect me to so many OTHER people, and - most of all - INSPIRE me! For REAL! Example #1: Note the righthand side of this blog. See the quote from MLK I just added a short while ago? I stole borrowed it from my good friend, Susan, at http://blackberrycreek.typepad.com/blackberry_creek/ ! But, I did TELL her I borrowed it. I think it's so relevant, and a thing to which we can ALL aspire! THEN I 'visited' my NEW friend Anna (see post about her a couple of days back to find her link) and found myself laughing my head off. (You THOUGHT I was going to say laughing my A** off, didn't you? Well, okay. I WAS. But (a) I TRY to keep this blog G-rated, and (b) NOTHING - especially not just LAUGHING - would get rid of MY a**! Anyway, next I hopped over to my 'sister from another mother's' blog (that would be Natalea  at http://kandeland.typepad.com/ ) where I read her post-birthday list of aspirations for the coming year. THAT inspired me to think about what I could reasonably hope to accomplish before my 62nd birthday in September. I will post THAT tomorrow! (NOTE: If you are faint of heart, easily shocked, or under the delusion impression I'm a nice, innocent critter, skip upcoming post! HAHAHAHA ... BET $100 you WILL come back and read it after I wrote THAT. Am I right?) Back to inspiring bloggy pals, Jen Ingle of http://justjingle.blogspot.com/ reminds me to LAUGH and FIND JOY in EVERYTHING EVERYDAY! I love that candy corn eating little thing! And then there are Viv, Jan, Pam, my lil' Chirp, Anita, Carolyn, Colleen, Beth, Jo James, Chris (someone who is as goofy as I am) Sandy ... so many more. THANK YOU, Blog World for giving me all these really cool people who add such richness to my life on a daily basis! To EACH of you I say: I am truly grateful to you for letting me come and play in YOUR blog space, for inspiring me, teaching me, sharing with me, making me smile, keeping me from being lonely sometimes, and accepting me for EXACTLY what I am:

A SWEET LIL' LADY

The other day I posted a picture of the Chinese New Year's gift I made for my sweet landlady (who has become family to me.) Today she came over to visit and I gave her my gift and we had a great talk plus some tea and a piece of the yummy fruit tart she brought. I asked her if I could take her picture so I could show everyone what a doll she is. She said, "Yes, you can take picture. But I am ugly to look at and will scare your friends, I think." NO WAY!!! I think she's a teeny, tiny Taiwanese sweety! And here she is. Mei-Chin, if you look at this, you will SEE what a cutie you are!

DO YOU TRUST ME? BECAUSE IF YOU DO ...

  ... you are SOOOO going to want to visit this blog I happened upon.
http://mylifeandkids.com/

   Why, you ask? Well, first because I have FINALLY found a person who actually rivals MY insanity! Second, because it's so blasted funny I have to make sure I pee BEFORE I read her posts! FOR REAL. I don't KNOW Anna. I mean, I JUST discovered her blog. But I know I cannot get enough of her humor. She's totally certifiable! I mean that as the HIGHEST kind of compliment! Go on. Go over there & take a peek. I DARE you. But (1) do NOT - I repeat - NOT - read anything she's posted if you are drinking coffee, tea, water, ANYTHING because you will spew it everywhere! Jingle, if YOU go visit Anna's blog, NO CANDY while reading it! PLEASE - I couldn't take it if I were responsible for your choking! (2) Don't plan on leaving her blog till you've read at LEAST most of it!  And (3) don't say I didn't WARN you if you didn't hit the potty BEFORE you go. HAVE FUN OVER THERE. I SURELY DID!!! (Oh. And if you leave a comment - bet you WILL - tell her Kai sent you. That will most likely initiate a post about old lady blog stalkers. BWAHAHAHAHA ...!)

OMG!!! AN ACTUAL CRAFT POST????

My sweet little landlady, Mei-Chin, is from Taiwan. I absolutely ADORE her! Yes! It's true! There ARE wonderful landladies! LOL! (Note: There are ALSO - despite fairy tales - wonderful mothers-in-law! I KNOW because I HAD one!) Anyway, I'm on a kick I call jar-art. Translation: I use clear jars and, deciding on that jar's theme, add appropriate stuff in, on, and around it. Yeah, I know! Kai is a weirdo, huh? Grin! Anyway, I wanted to do a small thing for Mei-Chin so I made her a Happy New Year jar. The actual DATE of Chinese New Year is January 23rd, by the way. I found a graphic I really liked - an old-fashioned Chinese little girl - and cut her out. Needless to say, I used a LOT of red. Nooooo! NOT because it's MY favorite color! It's the color of prosperity and good fortune in China. Also green and gold are lucky colors, so I included those. Birds are considered good luck as well,  thus the Cardinal. (Didn't hurt that it was RED, too!) And I had a lil' charm I thought was appropriate! Now the back of this jar has the words: LUCK, JOY, and LOVE around the outer bottom part. And inside, the word in Taiwanese for JOY. But you can't see that. Huh-uh! NOT because it's secret. I just couldn't get the cursed lighting right in the house and it refused to show up well enough. (NOTE TO SELF: Find a better place to take photos. Grrrr!) Anyway, I HAVE been making things - not just jar-art, either. However, the items are for birthdays and I can't SHOW them. But I haven't posted anything 'crafty' in awhile and I wanted you to know I AM making things! Crazy old KAI things, but none the less, THINGS! Now I need to go put some houseshoes on 'cause we've cooled down around here for SURE today and my FEET are cold! 'Bye! 

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

FEAST OR FAMINE!

   In 2011, we had the worst recorded drought in Houston's history. Actually, that applied to ALL of Texas. Seriously, folks. It was B.A.D.! Water was being conserved via resticted watering, and trees were dying EVERYWHERE. Grass was brown all OVER the city, and farmers - also home gardeners - had very little in the way of plants and veggies. Fireworks were STRICTLY banned for the 4th of July. We ALSO had a horrendously HOT year. 100-plus temps became the norm. I can't even begin to tell you how excited we all were to see the first cool front arrive! But we STILL had an enormous water deficit. Over 25 INCHES short of the normal annual rainfall. NOT GOOD. Not good at all. And then, there is today. We are a city of feast or famine; a city who has to regularly 'pay the piper' if we want to dance! Today we feasted. Today we danced. But, oh how we showered that old piper. Showered. Hmmm ... a decided understatement. We had a tornado touch down in one part of town, a HUGE amount of very heavy rain all OVER, WAY too much scary lightening, flooding almost everywhere, at least 20,000 power outages at one point - still around 16,000 with no power. People being rescued from crazy cars that attempted to swim instead of drive their owners. FREEWAYS under water. People IN BOATS on their own streets - some fishing. Really? Oh, yes. Fishing. Garbage cans and all MANNER of loose items floating merrily along. (Shall we sing, "Row, Row, Row your Trash?") And we are not quite finished. I understand we will probably get more between now & the rest of the overnight hours. Perhaps not the copius amount we had earlier today, but more. In fact, it's raining again right now. And, besides the water that we 'earned' toward the deficit, what is our reward for all this piper-paying? Well, we will, after today, and for a few days to come, say goodbye to our unseasonable 75 degree temps and return to our 'normal' January temps. That darned old piper is so expensive.  "... merrily, merrily, merrily merrily! Life is but a dream!"  

A PICTURE REALLY IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS!